28 April 2009
Just yesterday I begged him to remind me of his faithfulness, of his sovereignty, of his power. To help me trust him by not being anxious about getting ready for Z's arrival. And indeed "if we are faithless, he will remain faithful" (2Tim2:13). I am so blessed that God has answered these prayers, and made his power made evident in my life. How could I doubt his power? How could I doubt his love and desire to fulfill my needs and wants?
Thank you Lord for these blessings! For your heart, for your love, for your mercy and your grace. For all you've done. You indeed are more than I could ask for.
25 April 2009
I was listening to a teaching from Francis Chan "Living a Life that Matters: Living with Joy" and he points out that "Do not be anxious" is a command. Just as "Thou shall not murder" is a command. He also pointed out that the reason you are not anxious is because you have presented your requests to God. If I asked someone to do it, someone who is capable and faithful, then I have comfort knowing they would take of the task. So when I pray something to God-telling him that I trust his decisions and his work in my life, and then I worry about it-I'm not trusting him. At all. Because of all people, God is the one that is most capable of taking care of anything. Along the lines of commands, Phil 4:4 also commands, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Again, another commandment, but interestingly enough this time the command is written twice. God doesn't repeat the ten commandments... he states them once. But rejoicing-must be such a difficult commandment, because he says it twice.
So why today, after listening to this sermon, do I find myself completely struggling being anxious. Worried. Scared. Frustrated. About the future. About what's going to happen and how it is all going to work out. I cry out to God, I prayed to him about it a long time ago, telling him that I trusted him to work out perfectly this situation... just like his word promises ...we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.(Rom 8:28)
This fear, this worry, this anxiousness... it's all evidence of my lack of trust. Of really trusting God in my life. By carrying this fear and worry around I am telling God that I don't trust him. I don't think he can handle my problems. I don't think he could really find a solution to my really "big" problem. Why? Why can't I remember all the things he has done for me. All the ways he has provided and loved me, shown me mercy and grace. How can I forget so easily...why can't I trust him this time?
23 April 2009
Countdown To Delivery (from fitpregnancy.com)
Follow this timeline recommended by Rebecca Burpo, a certified nurse-midwife in Dallas, to prepare for the big day.
Week 30 Start shopping for items you’ll need in the hospital (nursing bras, nightgown, baby clothes, car seat) and at home (diapers, wipes, etc.).
Week 31 Attend childbirth classes. The sessions should end by week 36.
Week 32 Interview doulas or labor coaches—they book up quickly.
Week 33 Have your baby shower about two months before your due date so you’ll have time to shop for items you didn’t receive as gifts.
Week 34 Interview baby nurses or postpartum doulas; locate a lactation specialist in case you need one later. Research cord-blood-banking options.
Week 35 Meet with several pediatricians and choose one. Your baby will need to be checked immediately after birth.
Week 36 Pack your bag for the hospital (don’t forget your phone book). A baby is considered at term three weeks before your due date, so be prepared.
Week 37 If you plan to breastfeed, read up on techniques and gather resources to have at your fingertips when you come home. Join a local La Leche League group to meet the leader and other moms; you don’t want to be a stranger if you need to call them for help.
Week 38 Tour your hospital’s maternity floor. Decide which family members and friends may visit you at the hospital and at home in the first few days or weeks after you give birth. If you don’t, good intentions can overwhelm you: It’s easier to say “This is our plan” beforehand than to reject offers on the spot.
Week 39 Many women begin maternity leave weeks before their due date. If you plan to work up until the end, post an “If I go into labor tonight” memo at work.
21 April 2009
Well, Monday marked the transition into the third trimester. Which also marked the week that I needed to get my glucose screening test. Which, means I get to drink this sugary drink and then sit in the lab for an hour and then they take your blood. Actually, I was expecting the drink to be a lot worse than it was, but really it tasted like a flat orange soda. And Z only kicked like a few times in reaction to it... and I just got tired (could have been from a little stressful afternoon) but all pau. Think the results come in during my appt on Thursday.
Man, talk about getting fat. I had a really good swim workout Sunday and this lady asked me when I was due I told her July. She was like, "o that's a ways away." Then she asked me if I was having twins, I laughed and just said, "no I'm just fat." lol. Sigh....although I did eat so much today after our labor and delivery tour that I felt like my stomach was going to explode, like my skin felt super tight...oh my. What is going to come of this? :)
Anyway. The L&D tour was interesting. Definitely reminds me that I'm having a hard time with this whole, 'going natural' thing. I mean, after watching "Business of being born" I'm not sure anyone could really not be changed by that movie. But sometimes, the reactions of people, it's super discouraging... Then I'm reminded of what David wrote in Ps 142 " Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life." Right after that he says, "I cry to you, O LORD; I say, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living." ' (v4-5). Point being that humans, though they might mean well, they disappoint. We're all inherently sinful, and there not perfect, therefore letting each other down. The only one who doesn't is God. Our abba daddy who takes care of us. And it's like David writes that right after he feels like no one cares--to remind himself that it's ok because God's on his side. Anyway. I tell people I want to go natural (because it comes up) and they're like, "WHY?!" I feel like I have no real reason. I mean, there's a feedback loop between Pitocin and Epidurals dragging out labor, making it more intense, causing stress to baby potentially causing for an emergency csection. And indeed there are no real medical findings that neither pitocin or epidural is bad for baby... but really. Millions of women have done it without it, so why can't I? This might be my only chance to survive something this magnificant. I was designed for this. The thing that man cannot do, give birth. I have been blessed with an opportunity to deliver life into this world, and I want to try. I know it'll be hard. Don't get me wrong. I'm not expecting a calm peaceful delivery. But I do pray that the Lord gives me strength and favor, and I'm able to deliver naturally...
That's a load off my chest... for now that'll be it. Happy day! God bless!
19 April 2009
Anyway. On the lines of weight gain... I think that I might be up 2lbs... (the scale hasn't budged the last few days)... but that's better than the way that it was going. I'm going to try and stay away from sweets the next couple of days--my glucose screening test is on Thursday (when 28w appt is)--or I guess I can do it early on Tuesday before my Labor and Delivery tour. I've had this incredible craving for cake and ice cream. Okay, more the cake part. Like the moistness of cake and deliciousness of icing... mm. Well I'm hoping that some cornbread will help with the craving...
Speaking of eating... the last week hasn't been such a healthy week-sweets is definitely my weakness. My "one sweet a day" rule hasn't really faired so well. However, I did get 3 swim sessions in (40min, 23min, 50min), and a track workout (28min) with fast walking and weights workout. I also got to Yoga twice, and even did a 10min standing Pilates workout (eh... not my fave). I think this upcoming week my goal is to really be faithful to including the incline walking on the treadmill. And making sure I get some more weight training with lunges in there. I am eating more fruits and veggies... and trying to make sure I bring healthy snacks wherever I go.
The cool thing coming up is that I start my 8hr shifts tomorrow... and with the position I'm working it'll be 6a-2p, something I'm very excited about. The extra time, to really get ready for baby (cleaning out the room :P) and setting up. Not to mention work out... and it seems that getting more pregnant-means more frequent appts. So far I've been lucky and have only had one appt during work, and I'm trying to minimize the impact.
That's it for now (updates)... I think. Hopefully tomorrow I can share something cool God's been working on me lately.
15 April 2009
does anyone know how to fix a stuck space bar on a keyboard? obviously it works, but it's annoying sometimes it sticks and then it gets unstuck and makes this noise. weird.
sadly, other than yoga didn't get a good work out in today. wanted to PT but i asked too late (lost track of time) and i wouldn't have had enough time (waited too long into shift). anyway. tomorrow is team pt... and we'll be on the track... and i'll be bringing my weights? so i can walk and do random weight things... it'll feel weird... for sure to do it in front of people... i dunno. oh well. for my health right?
the past couple days my friends have greatly blessed me with packages... little zeke got some very cute onesies, bibs, and knitted booties, and i got some sweet smelling soap and some lip gloss. i'm excited to try out the lip gloss...hopefully not allergic (have developed weird rash on lip when using certain chapsticks/lip gloss--sadness. i know).
anyway. that's it for now. zeke is kicking, time for bed. :)
13 April 2009
Well today marks 27 weeks... I feel like I should have something significant to say... but no. Not really. I'm afraid the stretch marks are getting worse (and this cream I'm trying isn't working). I did get to swim today at UH. It was niice. I like UH. It's heated. And today was long lanes. Makes swimming go by faster...and it was a beautiful day. Sunny...it was great.
Had to make sure I got out of the pool in time for my continuation training at work. Such joy. :P But I did get to volunteer *break* at Airmen's Attic after CT since it took so long... and then stopped by Michelle's house to pick up some goodies she got for Zeke... and to raid her massive DVD collection. Now I just need to make time to watch said DVDs.
Speaking of time. I find myself becoming overwhelmed with this long list of things that need to be done before baby comes. Need to figure out what the heck we're doing in the spare bedroom -keeping the twin for people who spend the night while watching baby-or getting rid of it? -getting rid of the woven bookshelf? Worse yet-getting rid of the desk if we don't get rid of the twin?! I suppose we could buy one of those foldup cushion mats and babysitters could sleep there (or the couch-which I think would be far more comfortable). I'm not sure.
Then we need to figure out what's going to happen in our living room. We want to take the same material that is on the enclosed lanai (these wooden planks thingies) and put it in the whole living room...should we have the NEX people do it or try ask around to see if there's a cheaper way. PLUS we gotta figure out what the heck to do with the couch while said floor is being done. *sigh* It's a BIG project. I think I'm procrastinating on it... because it's big? Because it's a lot of money... I dunno. Because I don't like committing to anything during pregnancy?
I also need to take measurements of the windows in the bedroom, so Kirby and I can start our little curtain project. Eeps! So much to do... so little time.
12 April 2009
What song starts playing? "Bring the Rain" by Mercy Me...
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory And I know there'll
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to
praise You Jesus, bring the rain
I am yours regardless of the clouds that may
loom above because you are much greater than
my pain you who made a way for me suffering
your destiny so tell me whats a little rain?
I was soo convicted. How many times have I sung this during church, and told myself that no matter what, I would desire to praise him. Regardless of my sitatuation. Even on this Easter Sunday, when I remember all that he suffered so I could be with him.. *sigh* so undeserving.
The Lord has blessed me incredibly. Marcus came with me to Kaimaina's so I could swim in the ocean (to get a work out). Then we stopped at Safeway for some grub AND some delicious Cold Stone (coffee ice cream with heath bar, oreo, peanut butter, and roasted almonds).
That's it. Soon time for bed... and what a great night of sleep it'll be!
Happy Easter-God bless. May you know how much you are loved...by the Creator of the Universe.
11 April 2009
Anyway. Today was a good day... even though it started off a bit rocky. My intentions were to wake up, do some good ole incline treadmill walking with weights, then head off to my prenatal yoga class... instead I ended up waking up 15 minutes before class was supposed to start. Unfortunately I was supposed to meet Michelle this morning, but I didn't understand the message last night, so I missed it. Needless to say I went off to yoga... and it was more full than it was Wednesday, with a different instructor (I think she opened the place). Let me tell you about this yoga place... I found it while googling prenatal yoga in Honolulu. The plus side is this place is like 1 block from my house so the location is ideal. The only thing was the first class was $10, and then afterwards it's $17/class unless you buy 5 classes for $75, or 10 for $125. After thinking about it, I realized how much I really really like the class. Because it's all pregnant ladies (hence prenatal yoga), and the times availabel are Wed 5-615pm and Sat/Sun 9-1015am. And the yoga is fun... and a good workout. So I decided to go ahead and invest $175 in my prenatal health. :)
So I went to yoga and after I got back I thought it'd be a good idea to finally get my heart rate up (since I've haven't worked out since... I dunno)... so I went on the treadmill for 30min. It was good. A good arm/shoulder workout too. After a great warm shower I started making my late breakfast (since by this time I'm starving and it's like 1145) so I start some rice, with corned beef hash and an egg while cleaning the kitchen. And I start getting ready to go to Bellows for Kev's bday grilling... but Sarah tells me due to inclement weather they ended early. I talk with Kimmy for a bit and then head over to Cold Stone instead... and had some a delicious concoction...imagine coffee ice cream mixed in with heath bar, oreo cookie, roasted almonds and peanut butter. Amazing.
By this time I'm starting to get super tired (fortunately the ice cream is acting like a little bit of an anecdote) and I get home and decide it's time to relax...and start watching "Bedtime Stories" with Adam Sandler. OMGOSH. Hilarious. It's great!!
Ok... I have a few hours before bedtime (work tomorrow).. so I'm thinking of making some salmon for the week. :D Happy Saturday!
PS-The sun finally started coming out today, and although it would have been a perfect day for beach or swimming--I was soo pooped that there was no way I could swim... and beaches are always full on Saturdays... so I'm just hoping that Mon/Tues will bring beautiful weather for my next weekend off.
08 April 2009
4 Apr-Debutante Ball shirt (work black pants and heels). 25w5d.
This is from 8 Apr (26w, 3d) and I think it looks bigger since there's no print on my stomach. Or because it's farther away (mirror vs me sticking my arm out)
In my honesty and openness I show you my beloved stretch marks. Good thing this is the pic without the flash, man the one with the flash shows the stretch marks more. And man are they scary looking!
Regrettably someone told me that by rubbing Vit E on my tummy would help, but apparently it needed to be 1000units vs the 400 that I have now. No point in wasting it, so I still put it on. I don't think it's helping. I'm just coming to the conclusion that this pregnancy is not glorious or beautiful as others have had... and this is my own story. My own weird pregnancy story. :P
Alas... speaking of weight gain, I think I wrote about the dreaded midwife appt where she freaked out cause I weighed in at 183 (almost a 30lb weight gain)... that was like 3 weeks ago. She was like, "If you keep this up, you'll be well over 50lbs by the time you give birth." That was enough to scare the crap out of me... so I've started working out more, and trying to be consistent. As well as watching what I eat (don't worry, I still splurge-mm sweets are the weakness!). Just being careful and making sure I eat healthy. Needless to say, I haven't gained any weight the past 3 weeks (phew) and hopefully I can keep this trend up for the next few weeks at least.
Speaking of eating! Man... I can't eat like I used to. I mean, the quantity. Perhaps it's good, but I'm still having a hard time adjusting to smaller amounts. For example, Marcus and I ate at Pancake house this morning, about 10amish, maybe 1030. I had 1.5 pancakes, 1/2 scp of rice, and 1/2 omelette. I was stuffed! Like, stinkin stuffed. It's 1600 and I'm barely starting to get hungry. Anyway.
I'm going to try this yoga place by my house. It's $10 for the first class... and some amount afterwards... but it's a special prenatal yoga class. I want to see if it can help with my back pain, and just to see what the class does. That's another thing, back pain. Holy smokes I feel like an old lady. No joke. In the morning I wake up and I have to wash my face over the sink...man do I ache bending over....I'm starting to do the heat pack on the lower back thing. Helps a little, but still.
*sigh* About 14 weeks left of this adventure. I keep thinking, "Man, I'm only going to get bigger" and then I end up thinking, "and it's only going to get worse." lol. O well. It's a blessing. Who knows how childcare will end up, but we know the Lord has a plan, and he wouldn't give us more than we can handle.
Off to do some incline walking (10min) then shower and off to yoga. Hope I don't get too hot or sweaty, cause I'll have Bible study afterwards...Hmm. :/
07 April 2009
Anyway. Just sharing a little story, so some of you still feel connected... Zeke is kicking a lot more now... and Marcus actually got to feel a good movement tonight. That was cool. I mean, for both of us. I feel like I always get to feel him move and he doesn't really.
That's it for now... :D God bless!