30 July 2009

boo

I'm frustrated. With the bottle battle, and with not being able to pump more than 1/2 oz at a time, usually when I miss a feeding with the baby. I'm having a really hard time giving this up to God...

28 July 2009

Birth story--finally!

Thanks for your patience everyone. I have a lot to say, so it's rather long. Hopefully it's entertaining... and enjoyable, and not too gross. :P

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Z’s birth story…might be slightly graphic…hey I’m open!

I had been fairly anxious about getting baby to come out, even though his due date was 13 July. Saturday had been a little busy, Marcus and I went to surf clinic that morning so he could help and I could get in the water, afterwards we visited Sarah and family and then headed home (around 1300/1pm). We were pooped so we took a fairly long nap and didn’t wake up til about 5 when Marcus headed out the door to watch “the fight” (not like I really know what that means, but it’s a UFC thing). I can’t remember what I was doing while he was gone… but eventually he came back and I think I was in the middle of watching ‘Then She Found Me.” It finally ended and I was getting ready for bed. I read my nightly devotional Saturday night and had just gotten to the point of, “Okay God, you’re right. I just need to trust you and your timing, whenever you decide to bring him into the world. Because it’s all you.” I think Marcus and I both laid down to sleep around 12ish… and before I fell asleep (~1240) I felt a little warm trickle… and my thought out loud was, “oh man.”

All my reading had told me that this sensation was my water “breaking” but I didn’t want to get Marcus all excited… so I told Marcus I had to go to the bathroom which confirmed my suspicion. This baby was on his way, but definitely not the way that I wanted. [Contrary to movie depiction, water breaking isn’t always the first step to delivery. Usually women have contractions, then water breaks, then delivery is close. When your water breaks you’re on a timeline…you need to get baby out within a certain timeframe because now there is nothing to protect baby from infection from the outside world. This concerned me. My goal for birth was natural. No pitocin, no epidural, nothing… and being on a timeframe could possibly hinder this goal.] I went back into the room and told Marcus that my water broke. So I paged the midwife. And I texted Kimmy and a few others. She (midwife) called me back and asked what was going on. It scared me to tell her that my water broke without any contractions. She asked me what my goal was for birth, I told her natural and to stay at home as long as possible. She informed me that if I came into the hospital now, she would have to start me on pitocin, so she agreed with my decision to stay home. She told me to rest and if nothing exciting happens by 6am, to call again and let the new midwife on call know of any changes.

A little bit after that (probably around 0130) the contractions started. Nothing too bad, but definitely regular. They got to about 30-45 sec long every 2-4 minutes, a threshold the midwife suggested I could come in, or continue to stay at home. Marcus and I were nervous because it seemed that the contractions were picking up fast, and since it was our first, we opted to go ahead and come in. I called Marcus’s parents and left a message on the machine telling them we were leaving so someone could drop off my mom at the hospital (she wanted to be in the delivery room). We got to Tripler around 0430 and told me I was 5cm dilated. This was exciting since my appt on Thursday I was 3cm… so progress was good. Still hard to think that I was only halfway there though.

They got us all checked in and into a room (very large labor room with a Jacuzzi tub-to help with labor-unfortunately not with water births). I don’t remember much about this… it was early—0530ish (at this point I was very grateful Marcus and I had both taken a nap that afternoon. Marcus had said a couple days earlier that he hoped baby came during the day and not the middle of the night, he must not have communicated it loud enough to Z ;D) Thankfully while we waiting in the exam room Kim had shown up with Marcus’ energy drink and juice for me, and then my mom and Marcus’ mom showed up around then too and were waiting for us to get into the labor room. I was surprised to see Karen there, since she mentioned she didn’t want to be in the labor room (I asked), but at least all were accounted for. In the room Marcus got started setting us up-we had our IPod speakers with worship music playing, and then were just getting used to the nurses and different questions they were asking. We went ahead and started the Jacuzzi (in retrospect not a good idea)… and just went along with the punches of the contractions. Which at this point seemed to be slowing down a little (perhaps laying down during exam and other factors). When we got into the room, Kimmy passed out on the floor (she hadn’t gone to bed when I told her we were on the way to the hospital). Kim and the moms went to find the cafeteria around 6ish since it was supposed to open then…we all ate a little something (I had egg omelet something with some tater tots).

Our new midwife (Dana) and our nurses (Jordan and Christina) came on and by 0800 we were all just cruising. They were great, letting me do intermittent monitoring and suggested we try the tub. I went in and it was amazing. Definitely helped with contractions, perhaps a little too much. They slowed down at one point to a space of 7-10minutes. I got out of the water and continued laboring. I texted a lot… it helped distract me, as well as listening to the music. At this point we had found a House dvd and had it playing, but the volume was down. I was hoping to have baby out by lunchtime… again I guess I didn’t vocalize it enough since he didn’t seem to have heard me. We were waiting for the next “check” of dilation to see how far I was…trying to limit the amount of intrusions/exams since my water had broken so it was a hard game of wanting to know and hoping for progress while not wanting to check and then it not be very far.

I think I was finally checked around 11 or 12 (if anyone remembers… lemme know) and I was 7cm (squishy to 8). Good news! I had progressed and it seemed that delivery was kind of around the corner, since the last 1-2cm usually came pretty fast…but my lunchtime delivery was out of the question. I think at this time Karen left, and my mom stayed with us… The contractions were getting harder but still staying around 4-7min apart. I finally had mom start keeping track of them, since Marcus had to focus on helping me through them. [He did an amazing job as my coach. The whole nursing staff and Dana loved him, saying we were a great team and they wished they could hire him out].

1330ish we thought it would be ok to get back in the water since by now it shouldn’t slow me down… and I stayed in the tub for about an hour and a half or so. This was about the time that we (mom, marcus and I) took mini naps in between contractions. Mom was timing so she woke up when I told her one started, and Marcus had to help me through them. It was an interesting cycle, but it was good to catch some rest. I think I got out around 1500 and were wondering how the cervix was going and hoping it was further than 7. Dana did another check and I was still at 7 (squishy to 8…grr). She wasn’t very happy with this (well neither was I), she said we needed to seriously consider administering pitocin to help speed things up. This was the last thing I wanted to hear.

Pitocin is a synthetic drug used to imitate what oxytocin does in the body-which is produce contractions. These contractions are what soften the cervix causing it to open so baby can come out. Unfortunately, pitocin (commonly referred to as ‘pit’) is also unpredictable. Some women don’t respond to it well, and some do. It basically makes your contractions stronger (thus more pain), and it can start a very negative chain reaction where pit is administered, then you get an epidural which can slow down labor (while relieving pain), so they increase dosage of pit… and then finally baby’s heart rate is crazy because these contractions are nuts (and squishing him) and they have to do an emergency c-section. This is what I’ve been reading and talking about throughout pregnancy. Marcus and I were in agreement that labor would be painful and hard, but it’s natural. God designed my body to deliver children. It’s the one pain your body goes through that doesn’t mean something is wrong. It’s normal. Marcus was very supportive of this decision and knew it would be hard-since my pain tolerance wasn’t the highest on the block.

I argued against pit. What if I did some more walking and swaying and ball sitting and even did nipple stimulation… can we just wait? Dana said we had waited already and that something was holding me up… I was upset. She noticed. She said we would start at the lowest dose and see how it went from there. She said I was almost there, I just needed a little push over the edge…I was still upset. She left to go do something and let me think it over… Jordan (nurse) asked me if I could tell me a little secret, with Dana’s first child (she just had her second like 2.5months ago) she had to have pitocin. I’m not sure that really helped me, but I guess it was supposed to make me feel better that the midwife-one who encourages and supports natural birthing had to have pitocin and she’s ok. She didn’t need it for her second child. In retrospect, Lei also had pit with Abby to induce, and didn’t need anything for Asa.

I cried. I cried hard. I didn’t want it at all. I didn’t cry because I was in pain, I cried because I didn’t want the snowball effect of pit and too much pain and epidural and more pit and then emergency c-section. I can’t remember much after this. I’m sure Marcus said some stuff to help me get over the pit, but I didn’t really have much of a choice. They hooked me up to the IV, then they had to get the fetal heart rate monitor and the contraction monitor. Man those sucked. I hated them. They were tight around my tummy (esp the heart rate one) and they aggravated me, felt like my contractions were a little worse with them around my belly. Shortly after hooking me up I really needed to go to the bathroom. That was interesting. By this time the pit had kicked in and these contractions were killer man. Like Marcus had to help hold me up because they were intense. I was also starting to get hot…so it took some time for me to get to the bathroom and ‘take care of business’ but boy I was glad it was taken care of. While I was cruising in the bathroom, thinking that the toilet seat would help with contractions and pain (not really), they tried to offer me an otter pop (I thought of you Sarah!) I took a little bit but once a contraction started to come, I spit it out. I dunno why, but I remember spitting it out. I also remember my mom saying, “here’s another one coming” (The contraction machine tells you when one is coming), and I responded in not so nice words, “You don’t have to f-ing tell me it’s coming!” The pit really helped turn me into a not nice person. I was especially made at the nurses because of the monitoring equipment, and they kept telling me I was doing great. I wanted to hurt them. I might have sworn at them, I don’t remember. I just remember really really not liking them.
We finally made it back to the bed. They started me off on all fours, I have no idea why, but I think that was supposed to be a good position to help deliver. I thought squatting would have been good, but OH MAN those contractions were killer when I squatted so that was out of the question. I actually would get up on my knees and then drape over the top of the bed (it was folded up like an L) when a contraction came, and then as soon as it was over, I’d roll over and sit… I started to get really hot at this point. They brought a fan and had it on me, while my mom started to pad my head with a cold wet cloth (such a lifesaver!). Finally, I realize, holy crap I want to push. And I sort of started pushing. They kind of panicked and Christina did a quick exam and told me I was only at 8cm and they needed me to breathe through the contractions instead of pushing because it could hurt me pushing (damage the cervix). I was like, O ok whatever. Breathe through this… so I breathed for some more and while changing positions the IV kept getting in the way. It was in my right arm and I had to hold it with my left since I kept going back and forth between positions, I didn’t want it to get caught or something. Finally I remember it getting caught on something and it just pulled right out. My mom says I pulled it out. I don’t remember that, but I do remember it getting caught. Anyway, I got the urge to push again, and they brought Dana in. She was so happy that I wanted to push. She didn’t even check me and just told me to go ahead and start. I was amazed and happy that I could start pushing (around the corner right?) and there wouldn’t be another cervix check (those hurt, especially with contractions!).

Holy smokes. It was amazing pushing, because I could feel him come down, and then go back up a little bit. And holy smokes it was hard pushing. For some reason I had this idea in my head that you should be able to push the baby out in one push. I have no idea why I thought this, I have seen plenty of videos and I knew that wasn’t how it was, but at that moment I was so discouraged that I couldn’t push him out. It was hard. I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere. Eventually after a few pushes or so, they had me stay seated to help conserve energy, and I could push from there. I could finally start to feel the head crowning and everyone got so excited and I just got scared. I was like, “O man the ring of fire. This is what they talk about, and this is gonna suck!” so he’d come out a little, and then I’d stop pushing. It scared me! I didn’t want him out. I mean, I did. I told them I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t push, and they kept telling me, “you’re doing it, you’re already doing it. No turning back now, there’s only one way now.” I kept thinking, “Omgosh I can’t do this, they’re gonna have to use forceps, or the vacuum or cut me open cause I CANNOT push this baby out.” I know right-great motivational speaker.

Eventually, one nurse held one leg up (since I was so pooped I was not holding my own legs like Dana had wanted me to) and I think Kimmy had the other one. They all got so excited (everyone) was telling me to push that Dana had to tell everyone to be quiet so I could focus. This was towards the very end. Apparently I started doing one last push (and out came a scream that wasn’t helping-they tell you to do low moaning to help with pushing, this was not one of those. The high pitched kind just wastes energy-they say. I couldn’t control it) and I didn’t hear Dana tell me to stop… ironic because a friend of mine from water aerobics had Dana deliver her first and she was so happy because Dana told her to stop when baby crowned so that she wouldn’t tear and she didn’t. Well, I didn’t hear Dana so I pushed, all the way through. And he came gushing out. Literally.

All at once. It was such a weird feeling him come out… but also amazing. I could feel his body come out and his legs and then the umbilical chord still connected. I was so happy it was over (yet it wasn’t). They put him on my chest and started working to cut the chord (Marcus cut it!) and deliver the placenta. The pain wasn’t over! They kept pushing on my tummy to get all the blood out and it hurt like heck. I wasn’t happy. I was begging Dana to stop. I thought after you pushed the baby out it was over… NOT! But… baby stayed on me through the whole time, then Dana sutured me up (got a small 2d degree tear, and it took a lot of stitches because she said I tore funny. Seemed like Zeke was slightly in a weird position and might have come out a little awkward causing the weird tear).

In retrospect, I realize going into the tub when I was 5cm probably wasn’t a good idea. All the natural birthing videos I watched the midwife didn’t let the mom in until they were at 7cm…and I wished I had remembered that. Perhaps I wouldn’t have slowed down labor like I did, and he could have been out faster, or without pitocin. God used that to help show me that it’s not about what I want, or getting what I want. Truly surrendering my will to him has been a lesson I’ve been trying to learn (as noted with the formula/breast feeding issue). I also realized that I was like Peter. When Peter walked on water to meet Jesus, he got distracted by the waves around him and started sinking. After the pitocin was administered, I got distracted by it and stopped focusing on the end result, my little boy. I stopped focusing on God's strength, and gave up.

However, God was super faithful and brought us a healthy baby boy. We’re blessed, and I’m in love with him. In the end, he made it safely, and that’s all we could ask for.

24 July 2009

prayer request

I know I wrote on Zeke's blog that I know he's fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps 139:14) but I'm really having a hard time with this dilemma. Formula. I never wanted to give it to him (nothing against anyone, but I wanted to only breastfeed). Since he lost so much weight in the first few days, we had to supplement (and my milk didn't come in until the 5th day), then we took him off the formula and he didn't poop for 5 days and we needed to make sure he was hydrated and all so he was back on it. Now through all this I'm trying to pump, and barely get an ounce a day (yesterday was a miracle and I got 1.5 oz), and that's frustrating.

This morning I was determined to not use the bottle and we spent 3.5 hrs going back and forth between each side and him getting mad and crying because it wasn't coming out fast enough. Changed diapers, burped him, changed from side to side... he fell asleep for like 5 minutes and then woke up when I tried to put him down. Needless to say I finally caved in when Anna and Darci came to visit because it was nearing 4 hours of this struggle.

Now, I've come to realize that I put my worth as a mom in my ability to provide milk for my son. We all know "breast is best" but I'm starting to really get frustrated and overwhelmed. Why can't I pump 2-3 oz? Why can't he be happy with just mommy's latte? What's wrong?!

Please pray that God would change my heart and make me realize and understand and grasp how much my worth is not measured by milk production or using formula...because right now, the walls of this pit seem awfully slimy and tall.

Many thanks~
b

21 July 2009

what to write...

Seemingly this blog will be used for me... however, I've realized my life sort of revolves around baby now. I don't know what the huge difference will be between Zeke's blog and mine, but whatevers. Not like the world will end if I don't figure it out.

Update-he pooped!! We went in for our appt today to followup after having to supplement, still slowly gaining weight (good news), and urine is starting to get lighter. But still hadn't pooped. The doc did a nice little "exam" and "prodded" and was able to get some out. He instructed us that we had to do it at home if he didn't poop again... he hadn't pooped by 6pm this evening, and since he was falling asleep at the wheel (a constant problem with him-only while breastfeeding, not while drinking from the bottle)... I went ahead and suggested dad do some prodding. After almost giving up he did one last try and BAM hit the motherload. Quite the mess, but man I haven't been so happy about a dirty diaper. Prayerfully he becomes regular and this can help clean out his system (reduce jaundice) and he becomes more alert and NOT falling asleep while feeding...

Unfortunately you would think the best answer would be, "well pump everything so he can eat from the bottle and stay awake." That would be a perfect plan, if I could pump ANYTHING OUT. Granted, I haven't had a full day where I've been able to stay at home and with my pump so I can try after every feeding... but still... it takes me forever to try and get like an ounce. From both sides. It's really frustrating. I know he gets enough milk because when he sleeps and opens his mouth, he has milk he hasn't swallowed yet, so it's not like I'm not producing. I just... I dunno.

So I think I'll call a lactation consultant tomorrow (got a number from Amy Elies) and ask about possibly renting a hospital pump... wondering if the issue is with my pump...boo. I also asked Lei if she still had hers and maybe I could test it out. Medela has different size cups... I might need to change the size. Anyway. It's nice that tomorrow we have no appts. It's good. I can sleep, feed baby, pump, and DO HOMEWORK! Holy smokes I gotta do hw. Fortunately nothing was due last week... but stuff is due this week. *sigh* I thought I needed something to keep me busy after baby was born...little did I know...

----
Consider Jn 9:1-7... A blind man is presented before Jesus and the disciples ask why he was blind, if it was because of his sin or his parents' sin... Jesus responds, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life..."

This is me stepping out in crazy faith. By the time the oral surgeons go into me in October... my tumor will be completely dissolved and my jawbone will be completely restored. Why... so that the work of God might be displayed in my life.

18 July 2009

he's here!

Just a short note, in case you didn't hear, or perhaps couldn't assume with the lack of posts... Ezekiel Hanohanokeakua Arincorayan was born on July 12 at 1732. 7lb 10oz, 18in long. He now has his own blog at www.ezekiel712.blogspot.com which I'll update with pics of him... I'll be keeping this one for mommy. :)

Eventually I'll make a post with the labor story and all that good stuff.

For now...quick updates...Had an incident with my mouth yesterday, fortunately was already at Tripler so stopped by Oral Surgery and there was a pool of old blood and they had to drain it (open me up again... back to soreness). They also gave me some antibiotics.

My mom has been a huge help, although I'm not taking enough advantage. I called the clinic yesterday because my feet were ridiculously swollen... she asked if I was resting with my feet propped up. Not really.

It doesn't help we spent like 3hrs in the peds (pediatrics) clinic on Thursday because when we went for our 'day after discharge' appt on Wed baby had lost 12% of his weight since birth (he was down to 6lb10oz) so we had to start supplementing and come back on Thursday for another weigh in (we were also waiting for my milk to come in). So Thurs we check in at 1305 (late but appt at 1300) and finally by 1340 I asked the dude what was up since we had our carseat appt at 1400 and I thought an hour before was plenty of time to get this weigh in figured out. Apparently it wasn't in the system or something... so they finally saw us and the carseat lady was super patient (Carol). Zeke packed it on and was up 6oz in 24hrs (apparently very impressive)...and we were still waiting for milk to come in... However they were concerned about jaundice. They were on Wed and they asked if Marcus and I thought he was yellow, we said no-but he was an asian baby. They did this little test and it was like 12 (a good low number). They wanted to test again on Thurs but it wasn't really working and finally it said 16 - which meant that the machine was unreliable and blood test needed to be done. So he got pricked and we waited. Marcus went with Carol to do the carseat inspection (he passed with flying colors! She was amazed that nothing was wrong with the install of the carseat :P that's my hubby!) and baby and I waited. We finally got results back around 1615 saying that his number was like 13 something and he was fine. We just needed him to poop and pee more to make sure his system was clearing out.

So Friday when I called and asked about my feet and resting, I laughed. Mostly because when I called I was at Tripler (for the 5th day in a row since going into labor).... to get baby into Deers and Tricare and all that goodness. Then my mouth thing happened and headed down into Oral Surgery (see above). *sigh* what a week yeah?

Back to baby... he still hasn't pooped in almost two days, which according to my Baby 411 book from Joy that's ok. We'll just be concerned about what the texture is when it comes out. I think if he doesn't poop soon, we'll be making a call to peds. Altho I'm not sure what they'll do to him. We've stopped the formula supplementation since the milk has arrived (oddly enough-although thankfully? without engorgement). Now I'm into the adventure of trying to pump... boo.

Well that ended up being much longer than expected. But I guess it's good. Life's not super easy, but it could be much worse. He's healthy (minus being clogged and slightly yellow) and he's adorable. Even some of his cries are cute (they sound so dramatic)...and right now he's snoring... just like his daddy :P Who by the way is amazing! Marcus is doing so well, considering you know how most dads aren't totally into their babies until they can interact with them-he's so good...

Alrighty. Time to rest :) Baby will want to eat soon...

10 July 2009

Forgot to mention...

In all my excitement about the appointments and my jaw, I forgot to mention that my bike was stolen last weekend. Monday morning I opted not to go to water aerobics because of time crunch and errands and all, plus Sarah wasn't going so it just wasn't worth it for me to drive out to Pearl Harbor so Marcus and I were going to go the beach. I opened the cabinets to grab the noodles out and I saw a pair of keys on the ground. Then I looked up and realized my bike was gone. We had used a Ulock to go around the tire and the frame, and then a thick wire cable to go around the other tire and hook it to the pipe in our stall. It seems that our gate was broken since Saturday afternoon (left open), so it's likely someone came in, saw it (cause I worked that weekend and the truck wasn't there to block the view) and then thought it'd be a good to cut the cable and take the bike. Needless to say we're not sure if the keys belonged to the thief or something, but we turned them into the cops. Fortunately we have condo insurance and they'll pay for a replacement minus the $250 deductible. Although right now it's not high on the to do list... but thankfully Marcus is taking care of it. From now on, my bike stays in the house. It was in the house this whole time until we opted to move it to help make room for baby... I thought it'd be ok...I guess not. :/

Oh well, in the end it doesn't really matter... but I still want to do the Honolulu Triathlon next year...and it seems that the insurance will work stuff out.

That's it. I forgot to mention it. I think. Think I had some contractions this morning, so when I was meeting Leanne for lunch I opted to walk over (about 10min walk) hoping it would do something... then walked back home. not sure it did much. Although I'm pretty sure I lost my plug. Good sign (I guess) although it doesn't really mean much. That's the hard thing about this whole labor thing... really, all this stuff happens but there is no time frame for it at all. Just cause you're 3cm doesn't mean anything. Just because you lost your mucus plug doesn't mean anything... catch my drift? I guess I just need consistent contractions... that's all. :D

I seemed to have lost some of my nesting... kind of since the biopsy... but I might have gotten some if it back. I'm thinking of tackling the baby room again... I kind of find myself really tired lately...took a small nap this morning after reading...might lay down again before I head to the pool around 3... I wanna see if I can swim and/or do some water stretches...

09 July 2009

News...baby and tooth

Well I finally had my 39 week appt today. Baby's heartrate was 150, fondal height 37cm... she asked me if I was having contractions and I said yes. Because last night (while watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants), I realized that I had been having contractions I just didn't realize it. Anyway. then she asked if I wanted a cervix exam (check for dilation) and possible membrane striping. I wasn't sure about it because I've realized this baby will come whenever God wants him to come, and I'm not I was ready to hear, "you are not dialated at all" if that was the case.

Figured I had nothing to lose, so she checked me and tagged me at 3cm dilation and 75% effaced. She went ahead and halfway stripped the membrane (if my body is ready for baby, it could help be the first domino to fall in the labor process). That was relatively exciting. He is still a little high (-3, he needs to be at 3 for birth), but he can move down relatively quickly. Anyway. It's hard to say when he'll come just by those numbers, we pretty much need to wait for consistent contractions and/or water to break. But that's exciting. I'm having contractions. :D

Tooth news. I didn't eat today until about 2pm (woke up at 9), not the greatest idea. I did have some chocolate milk this morning so I could take a vitamin and some tylenol (regular - not tylenol 3 aka codeine). But God's healing is soo evident because the pain today is not nearly as bad as it was yesterday! Hardly any sharp pain and most pain is from moving my face around (I am swollen tho... not sure if you can tell by pics) hard to smile. When I did eat I couldn't take it and really wanted gyudon (it's like soft beef sauteed in onions, not the healthiest but super good and delish) so I figured I could try make into a soup with the rice...needless to say when I got home I didn't need to and could eat (little bites). I actually ate a lot... but was very stoked I could eat something real! And it didn't cause much extra pain (I haven't taken another dose of tylenol since this morning). I was telling Sarah, I think this whole mouth thing was God's way of preparing me for labor. I didn't used to have a high pain tolerance, but with this mouth thing, I've really learned/been able to deal with it and go on. Something I'll need to be able to do during labor.
Trying to smile....
Regular face

More news... the oral surgeon called today, apparently they got a super quick turnaround on the pathology results from yesterday (they gave it to the pathologist as soon as the were done--I'd like to think it's because everyone is so fascinated by this case of a super pregnant lady with a giant cyst :P but anyway)... Apparently it's a benign tumor (not cancerous) called amelo blastoma. It's not that common, but my surgeon has seen a few in his career so it's not new to him. It means that to take care of it I'll need a few surgeries, one to take out the tumor as well as surrounding tissue from the jaw bone (taking out a hunk of jawbone), and then more surgeries to reconstruct my jawbone with some samples from my hip bone. Unfortunately these tend to recur (as the first time I've had this was in 03, altho not nearly as large or damaging). I have to meet with him again on Monday and we'll talk some more about the procedures. Fortunately we can afford to wait ~2months from now until after I've recovered from birth, however it does need to be taken care of relatively soon (I'm thinking work might not be happy with that news. They also might not be happy that recovery time is about 3-4weeks, because it's a series of surgeries) but this is all things we'll be talking about on Monday. My tumor is about 6cm in size which in comparison to my jaw is large...

But I am grateful it's not cancerous and that my surgeon has had a lot of experience with this kind of tumor and he's done lots of reconstructive surgery (however, taking bone from my hip into my face seems a little weird). He also says that I won't be disfigured...and I'm glad that it's something we can wait a little bit (a few weeks after baby) before getting me up on the cutting table.

That's about it for now. Just waiting for Kimmy to come over so we can walk over to Bubbies. Best of both worlds, getting some walking in to help with baby, while getting some ice cream to help cool down mouth :P

08 July 2009

Post Biopsy...

Hello all...(whomever you are)...

Well here I am, 4 hrs after the biopsy... they gave me lidocaine without the stuff that causes contractions (found in afrin) because they didn't want me giving birth in the dental chair. It also makes you bleed more so there was lots of blood. Anyway, they went in, saw the giant cyst-were amazed and scraped some out for samples and also to try and get as much out as they could...it hurt. They were getting close to the nerve that is near your jawbone...the surgeon was like, "this thing is really eating away at your jaw..." :P

So I'm in recovery. They gave me some codeine to help with pain, but I want to limit taking it. I'm nervous about going into labor with this much mouth pain, so prayerfully I can get used to this pain as much as I could before...so that when labor comes (hopefully sooner than later), it's easier to focus on that. Fortunately they put me on quarters for the next three days, so I don't to go to work tomorrow (mostly because codeine makes you drowsy and they want me to take it)...Gives me a chance to rest. I also need to ice my mouth, 20min on, 20min off.

Tomorrow is also my midwife appt. My walk-in to labor and delivery didn't go well at all, and she scheduled me an appt tomorrow...made me so mad. But that's another story, and might as well just let it go already. Zeke will come when God wants him to come, regardless of my appts or not. I just read a devotional last night, and it was sooo perfect since I wanted to have the baby within the next 36hrs... It was from Prov 3:6 "in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." And it really emphasized (to me), in ALL my ways acknowledging (submitting/surrendering to) him and made me remember that this whole thing isn't about me or what I want, but about trusting God's timing and his will and his way. Also was a good reminder about Sarah's c-section. Really giving up our own desires and trusting what he has planned for us.

That's it for now. Hopefully Z makes his appearance soon, I'm very excited to meet him. :D

05 July 2009

39 weeks...

I'm not getting as good at updating these days... but I wanted to get some pics your way...

These were taken by Mario...and we had lots of fun doing them. I can't wait to see the rest of them! They were taken at 38w2d...


Hello in there...


Fish Lips...

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4 Jul 38w5d (Jessamy's party)


The front view...I wanted to see if he looks like he's dropping at all...



and of course the side view...
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Updates...well I have my 39 week appt tomorrow, so I can't really tell you much in that regard. I can't remember if I told you have my biopsy on Wednesday (they'll go into my jaw and take out a sample of the cyst so they know for sure what it is, and how to treat it once baby comes). My bike was stolen between Saturday and today... it was a beautiful bike and it makes me sad that it's gone (even tho I didn't get to ride it a lot lately, I was looking forward to getting back into racing). But apparently our homeowners insurance helps cover some of it... if I were to get a new bike it'd be about 900$ -holy smokes!

Nothing is really done in baby room. It's had to take a break-worked this past weekend (Fri-Sun) so Fri after work I had to do my hw, Sat after work did Jessamy bday/going away party prep and party, Sun after work--can't remember. Worked on Jess's scrapbook? That took a lot today- like all afternoon. I was planning on doing water aerobics but realizing the bike was stolen but a damper in plans...

Tomorrow's a busy day. Between 6a-12p I gotta stop by labor and delivery to have my 39wk 'appt' and then do errands on base: commissary, pickup dental records, get gas, return something at BX, pick up Kimmy's ring... then come home and clean/get ready... BBG pledge class sisters coming over for dinner... somewhere I need to do baby room stuff/laundry. *sigh*

Wed work at 6am (so much better than 4!) then biopsy in the afternoon. Thurs work at same time, then my mom flies in at 8pm. Hopefully Thurs for sure after work I'll be able to do baby prep stuff...cause I'm not sure how I'll feel Wed after that biopsy...

Alright, should clean up living room floor. It's a disaster from scrapbooking. Then shower and bed...sleepy. Very sleepy.