06 August 2009

Trials...

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

Let me start off by saying this, it's 2am, and I love my child.

Now, let me tell you what's happening. Where to start...

I went by the Kapiolani Lactaction consultant yesterday, to purchase a Supplemental Nursing System (a concept like the IV, attach a small tube to you so baby can suck it as it gets milk from you) and they by chance weighed the baby. He was 7lb 8oz with a dry diaper and a onesie (when he's weighed at Tripler, it's naked weight). What does that mean, that means since his last appt, about 1.5 weeks ago, he has gained less than an ounce. That's really bad.

Apparently that time when I was so excited that he hadn't had any bottles, I was sort of starving him. I'm not producing a ton of milk. This means baby isn't getting enough, therefore not gaining weight (or pooping, and probably looking a bit more yellow than usual). So I thought I was doing good, not so much. I went to purchase the SNS because Marcus made me realize that Z wasn't getting anything out of me (and neither could I when I squeezed). This made me very upset.

The game plan is this...Use the SNS during daytime feedings to give an extra ounce of formula everytime I feed him. The advantage of the SNS is that it stimulates my body into producing more milk (because he's staying latched on longer than he was). I also HAVE to pump for 15 min after each feeding... it doesn't have to be on the highest suction (cause boy that kills you!) but I do need to keep the stimulation after he eats. My next lactation appt is Monday afternoon, in which case we'll weigh the baby and see how he's doing. Hopefully better. If I do not have abundantly flowing milk that will sustain Z, then we will be using the bottle to help supplement, my quest to BF might be reduced.

Needless to say, I'll probably get up in a few hours to pump again (because someone thought I NEEDED to pump EVERY 2hrs), however my argument is one of the things that hinders milk production is lack of rest. So if I have to wake up every 2hrs to pump, how does that help my rest? Let alone dealing with the baby that sometimes stays awake for an hour feeding. Which, during the night feedings, I won't be using the SNS because it's super annoying to use (a lot of setup, I need like 4 hands). I'll call the lactation lady tomorrow and ask.

It's been very very rough. This morning between the hours of 0645 and 1300 my schedule was literally prepare the SNS, feed him, think he was sleeping, prep food/start pumping he starts crying again. Pump for 10 if crying, repeat feeding process...change diaper. I ate breakfast around 8 I think, and didn't get to eat lunch until after 1. So much for "when the baby eats, I eat." He likes to wake up while I'm pumping. Annoying. And my SNS started to leak, and that blew me over the edge. I screamed into a pillow. You try preparing stuff while your baby is crying because he's hungry because you're taking too long. I finally ended up giving him formula through a cup because the SNS pissed me off so much and I knew I wasn't giving him anything. Then we both slept...forever. I woke up around 1545ish...and finally woke him up to feed him (after all preps) around 1615 or so. I didn't leave the house until Marcus and I went to Walmart to look for a baby scale.

*sigh* I just have to last until Monday. This whole process of feeding and pumping and prepping...leaves maybe an hour (max) in between feedings, esp if going every 2hrs. It's...hard. I hope I learn whatever I need to learn from this...

On the plus side, I froze 3oz tonight. I think it's been gathering from the past 2 days or so... but still. Another bag to add to the freezer. We're up to two bags! :P

G'night. Pray for me. I need it.

No comments: