16 March 2010

Depression...

It tends to set in at the weirdest times... or perhaps not weird at all. All I know is tends to hit me like a ton of bricks. And it usually occurs when Marcus is working his swings, and isn't around me to comfort me. So instead, I isolate myself. From friends and fellowship. This was our conversation:

M: How are you doing?
B: Not good
M: Want someone to eat ice cream with?
B: NO it'll make me fat. I don't want to eat ice cream with anyone.
M: Why don't you go to the girls' house?
B: I don't want to. I don't like them. They don't like me.
M: What about Lei? I bet you could go to her place.
B: I don't care about Lei.
M: Wow... You could read...
B: I don't want to read. I know I should read and pray... but I don't want to. I'm just a black wet cat. I want to be left alone but I don't like being alone.
M: Um....

Poor guy. He tried. All the tricks of the trade... Ice cream, girl friends, Jesus...and still I rejected them all.

I think women in general struggle with feeling wanted. Struggle with the lies that Satan pours into our heads that no one cares about us. Everyone else is busy with their own ministry they don't have time for us. They don't care... and in reality...it's a lie.

We have to fight back. We have to hold on to the truth. We have to CRY out for God's help. We have to LOOK UP...
I lift up my eyes to the hills-
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD ,
the Maker of heaven and earth. (ps 121:1-2)
In my distress I called to the LORD ;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears. (ps 18:6)
He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the LORD was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me. (ps 18:16-19)
You, O LORD , keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.
With your help I can advance against a troop;
with my God I can scale a wall. (ps 18:28-29)
"You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing." (ps 16:2b)

Remember: "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (eph 6:12)

Remember: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (ps 139:14)

1 comment:

Sarah said...

I know times are rough, but you have friends :) and God. I love you friend!