03 April 2010

Layin' back...

Well, I'm trying to take it easy. So far think I'm doing ok. I mean, we went to Momentum last night and all that sitting in the wheelchair did a number on my hip. It was about 3 hours, so I think tomorrow morning for church, there will not be as much sitting in the chair as much, and we probably won't stay as long either. Although it was nice to get out, my heart was not in it. Which really sucked, since the whole point was worship. I mean, Good Friday, a day to reflect and remember all of God's goodness because we 'have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God...' (rom 3:23) amazing because the 'wages of sin is death' (rom 6:23) so we all deserve death. But thankfully we 'are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement...' (rom 3:24-25a). It's amazing. Not only did Christ pay the price for us, but he rose from the dead!

Anyway. I mean, the point was I was excited to go to Momentum and worship, but the events through the night didn't make for a great evening. It was hard. Painful. There were complications... but at the end of the night, God made his grace evidence. I knew that he'd prevail. A brother prayed for me, reminding me of God's goodness. And in the morning God was faithful to restore me.

Unfortunately through the night, I forgot... well chose to not take my meds in the middle of the night because I thought I would try to see if I could make it, needless to say I woke up after the fact (1.5hrs after they were due) and it hurt baaad. So I learned my lesson when it comes to meds.

Ah. I must be doing better, because I'm starting to have dreams. Or at least remembering them. Too bad they're crazy dreams. Like this one was that my leg was this weird jello or something and wasn't shaped right. And I was scared it was going to be like that all that time. It was weird. Speaking of dreams. It reminds me of the hospital stay. Dr. Hsu told me to make sure I took deep breaths since my air pockets shrunk a little, but overnight I would wake up gasping for air because my heartrate was so slow, my breathing was very slow. It's crazy weird. I know that for sure my heartrate was as low as 59 bpm... but that breathing thing. Very weird. I don't remember that from the last surgery. I think I was too drugged up. I remembered the nurse kept coming in and telling me that I needed to put the Oxygen mask closer to my face, cause I wasn't breathing.

Someone mentioned before my surgery that I should enjoy my time off with the baby. I really wanted to tell them, "you know, it's not really time off when you're recovering from major surgery. You know, when you cannot move your leg on your own and use this little lasso thing, when I cannot even hold my own son.... no right now, I'm not really enjoying my time off, I'm trying to recovery... which doesn't leave a lot of room for baby." That's my venting.

Actually, today was the first day that the baby was allowed on the bed with me. We keep him on the left side, and there's less danger of him stepping on my hip or grabbing my jaw. He seems to be doing better though. Now that he gets mommy play time, and he can hang out in the bedroom causing mischief. And lately, I'm starting to realize how much I love him. He is very cute. The faces he makes, the things he does... all very adorable. That's one thing I am thankful for, at least I get to watch him. And see him almost walking. Can you believe it, he's almost walking?!?

Hmm.. what else can I talk about? Food. I enjoy eating non chewing foods. Let's see... I had a shakeology this morning, then some blended chili, milk and ovaltine milk throughout the day. Then some Bobba Loca (Peach Mango-thanks Michelle!), some slapchopped spicy ahi poke and chocolate covered strawberries from jamba (great drink-thanks Tricia!) Marcus also went to get Mark today and he went out and grabbed me some delicious mochi and some azuki bean deliciousness. But something I'm looking forward to is some Jamba Oatmeal! Some delicious blueberry blackberry oatmeal :)

That's it for now. I know this is very scatter brained, but it's been the past couple hours that I've been writing it...so... probably time to sign off for the night.


Billie said...

Wow, you're getting blessed with some good food! Although, I can't say that I'd agree with you on the poke, being that I absolutely do not like fish. I'm glad God is comforting you with an awesome husband, a loving son and great friends! And Himself, of course.

Kim Shigeoka said...

I miss you Bren, wish I could be there to help too! Although I know you've got great support from family and friends out there. Glad you get to spend time with the baby, even if it's not ideal. Get more sleep/rest and stop being awake when I'm awake :P <3 you!