10 August 2010

30 days...

I'm not sure if a lot has happened in the last 30 days... but apparently something has cause I haven't updated in that long.

A long time, a short time, all in perspective.

Many times I've thought of a fb update, or a way I could start a blog. I've thought of things I could write about, complain about, share my struggles... and then I always find something else to do.

But someone told me on Saturday, "I stumbled across your blog, personal, ...I didn't realize you were going through so much..."

And then today someone mentioned, "You have to get braces?!?" and I tried to swallow this journey. This loong journey, that has been over a year now (15 months at least), and then it hit me.

I don't want to go through all of this, and MISS IT. You know, what God is trying to show me. I'm so focused on the circumstance, on wanting it to be over, that I'm not focusing on Him and what He is trying to show me. Now I know this has come up before, but 15 months later... have I grown at all? Seriously... have I? It scares me to think...

But, my prayer is to stay focused through the rest of the time. This has been a long journey and it's not ending anytime soon. Although the potential for another surgery (to break jaw to realign bite) might not be happening any time soon, it's still there. Braces come on mid-Sep and thus begins a different kind of journey. And if it's not fixed by Aug '11 (when we're due to PCS), well... then we press. Talking with my original dentist from Hickam dental, I've realized my next assignment is not so much about where I want to go or what I want to do, but about where a good oral surgeon is (potential to get to Jul '11 and them realize braces won't cut it, and we'll need surgery). We'll see what the list is when it comes out, but I'm confident in this, God will provide. He's a big God.


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