06 March 2011

One day at a time...

It's a good thought to have. Since that's all I can do really.

Today we ventured to surf clinic. It was hard, a long ride in the car-thankfully there wasn't a lot of traffic. The weather was overcast, which made for a cool mid-morning and thankful there was no temptation to go in the water (although I didn't get to use my sun-hat). Anyway, I've realized that although I am blessed by people, I do not incredibly enjoy talking to them lately. It requires a lot of energy, and it's hard to be loud, and I feel like since they re-did my wires it's harder to be understood and there's extra spit-and it's messy.

The other hard part is the food. Being around people while they're eating, it takes a lot of focus on my part, to not watch them eat, or get that sad puppy look. Sadly, it also puts a damper on your social life...because not only can I NOT eat out with other people, but there is no part of me that wants to sit in a restaurant sipping water while everyone else is enjoying delicious food. *sigh* I know it's an opportunity to die to myself... but...that's a very big death. :/ And I'm selfish. Anyway, they were eating spam musubis this morning, and they smelled amazing. And Tricia was eating a PB & J sandwich when she first saw us... and they gave Michelle 4 pieces of cheesecake to sing happy birthday to her. See a theme? I notice food. oOo geez.

So that was exciting, I spent like 3 hours out of the house. The drive home wasn't that great, and there was traffic. But we stopped by to grab some saimen broth from a restaurant, so to get home and drink it was kind of nice. Granted I knew it was straight salt, but it was a nice change of pace from the normal sweet drinks (chocolate milk, fruit drinks, fruit juice, oatmeal, etc). Thankfully, I have Marilyn's soup (she gave me another stash), but I might have to take her advice and freeze a little. Not sure if I could get sick of it, but just in case, I don't want to waste any.

It seems the pain is getting less. During the day I only take 5ml of oxycodone, every 6 hours, and then at night (the 10 oclock dose) I take 10ml and it lasts through the night. That's cool. My swelling is also going down, but it's still up there. It bugs me that now my swelling is kind of hard, it makes me wonder. I'm sure it's not a big deal, because I think I remember it feeling like this after the first surgery, but I can ask on Monday. Or I'm sure they'll say something.

I've been slowly watching the scale creep up, and it's frustrating. Seriously, my mouth is wired shut, how can I gain weight?! Why me? Then I realized, well, I have really expelled my bowels in a while (um... since Tuesday?) So I caved today. I've been adding metamucil to everything (it feels like at least, to OJ, to oatmeal, to soup...). I asked Marcus to go get a laxative, and to my horror what did the box say? DO NOT CRUSH! EEPS! I asked my mom why it said that, she said it was because if you don't take the whole capsule than the effects could be less controlled (she said the d-word!--diarrhea; something I don't want to deal with again) so I played around with my mouth a little and I was able to fit it into the hole on the bottom right side of my mouth. I'll be looking forward to shedding those pounds again. Then again, I've also remembered that it's coming up on that special time of the month, when I tend to keep some water weight... so hopefully this time next week, I'll be those few pounds lighter.

In the meantime, Marcus walked with me on that 20 min loop (it's a mile), and I felt okay! It didn't hurt as bad. Perhaps tomorrow, we'll go a bit longer. And I did some more of those 5lb workouts, just some arms, with some lunges and squats (only one set each). I think on Tuesday I'll start Shredding again. I mean, why not? Workout DVDs are all about adjusting to your level :) Come back in a few days, see how it goes...

Well, I've typed this between many episodes of Glee (thanks Leah :P)... I should sleep soon!

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