11 March 2011

Silly child...

Hubby was concerned because the kid was rocking himself back and forth with the blanket over his head. Nothing too exciting since he generally does random things, and he wondered if we were bad parents because something was bothering him. I didn't think anything of it. Then he said he was going to check on him, and he comes back out and tells me I need to see the kid. Seriously, he pulled the mattress up and was sleeping under it. I mean, we have a thin mattress because it's a mini-crib, so it's like 2-3 inches of foam covered in plastic covering, so the fact that he can pick it up and everything isn't amazing. What's amazing is he actually fell asleep under it. Thankfully, it was tented so although he was warm, he could still breathe. I have a picture, but I cannot find my thing I use to upload pics, so it'll have to wait. Needless to say we re-positioned him on top of the mattress. At least there won't be any sirens tonight to bother his sleep, although last night he slept until about 4am, when my mom came in and said he was up.

I, on the other hand, passed out after they went off around 0230? or 0245? Either way, I woke up at one point in the morning but after hubby was gone, saw we still had power, and went back to sleep until about eleven. And then I struggled with depression all day while he was gone, and my mom had taken the kid out for something. I didn't realize how bad it would be. I wanted to do something, but just felt so lethargic. Finally, eating breakfast and taking some tylenol, I was trying to get enough hutspa (sp?) to walk to CB&TL at Market City for some coffee, only to have my mom come back, put the kid down and then tell me to text her when he's up. Out the door she went. Pfft. I texted a friend to ask what she was up to, but she was at someone else's house... so I had no one (I know, I know, I had God. But sometimes in those pits of despair, God is not someone likely to turn to). So I watched Bones... and took a nap (just like Kimmy).

Hubster got home kinda early for a Friday afternoon, but I suppose that's what happens when most of the state isn't working or at school. Then we walked together to get coffee to fight off the yawns. Apparently I yawn so much that it's causing my wires to loosen (they'll have to do something about that on Monday). It's at the point where I yawn, and when my teeth come back down the bottom teeth end up right under the top teeth (whereas now they're behind the top teeth), so I have to move them back into place. I fear every time I yawn that I will break my jaw. I am sure it's very unlikely, but c'mon. If the docs told you that during surgery your bone snapped, I think it would make you a little paranoid. We'll see what they say Monday. Hopefully they don't make some smart comment about just "not yawning." I'll threaten to punch them. Anyway--hubster's mere presence encouraged me to eat and drink. I showered, and then got ready for Bible Study. I actually drove. I had only taken two sets of tylenol and some ibuprofen through the day. It was nice to drive, feel that independence. And not have to deal with those passenger woes... Although I wonder if some of the pain added to my depression...

I think the silly child title also applies to me. Sometimes when I get into these depressed episodes I so often blame other people--why don't they come over to hang out with me? I haven't been at work for the past 2 weeks...nobody is working today and no one asked me if I wanted to hang out...why haven't I gotten a card from anyone? Silly things like that. Silly self-centered things that often remind me how much I need to die to myself.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Eph 4:22-24

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross! Phil 2:3-8

Definitely some good Scripture to ponder on. And on that, I'll say goodnight!

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