16 August 2011


Howzit. It's been a while. I find myself fighting to go to bed early, and somehow still go to bed around 10pm, but trying to get up at 430 (not likely, usually like 455/5am) and rushing in morning to get to class. Anyway, so I always want to write a blog before bed, but I know it'll only add lots of time before I get to sleep. So I don't.

But today, thankfully I'm not as crazy tired as I normally am... so at lunch instead of taking my little siesta, I've opted to buy some songs on ITunes (Thanks Lei for gift card from long time ago!)... and then I thought, "You know, I am useless with my time in the mornings and don't have QT, so today at lunch, I'll be productive... and I read Jon Courson's devo for today. Holy. Smokes. After I tell you about my afternoon yesterday, you'll understand God's perfect timing on this devo.

Daily Devotional
August 16
O come, let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the LORD our Maker. For he is our God; and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand.
Psalm 95:6-7 (a)
Here, the psalmist says, “Let us bow down. Let us kneel.” Clapping hands, standing in awe, lifting the head are all spoken of in the Scriptures as ways we can demonstrate worship. Although worship is stimulated in the heart and can be demonstrated through the body, I have found that sometimes demonstration through my body works stimulation in my spirit. That is, when I’m dry and I don’t sense the Lord’s presence as I once did, I find that when I bow my knees before Him or lift my hands to Him, something happens deep within me and my heart is stirred.

In the morning - when my mind might be foggy and my body might be tired - if I’ll kneel down before the Lord, if I’ll lift up my hands and praise His name, if I’ll sing loudly in my study, if I’ll worship enthusiastically, even though my spirit may not initially be on board, it doesn’t take long for it to respond accordingly. That’s why the psalmist doesn’t say, “Do these things if you feel like it.” He says, “Do these things, period.” Worship is not based on feeling. Worship is based on who God is. And He is merciful, generous, wonderful, and loving.

When the wise men made their way to Bethlehem, bearing gold, frankincense, and myrrh, Jesus was not yet two years old. Thus, they obviously weren’t hoping to get anything from Him. Instead, they brought their gifts to Him simply because they realized that He was the Promised One, the King. Whether they felt anything or not was irrelevant.

All things were made by Him and for His pleasure. Therefore, when I am pleasing the Lord by worshipping Him, I am actually fulfilling the very purpose for my existence (Revelation 4:11).

What a hit on my heart about worship.

Let me tell you about yesterday, and then you'll see the perfect timing in this all.

Yesterday I had an orthodontist appt here at Keesler. Huge blessing, they don't normally see students, but because I pleaded and told her I basically just need my bands changed so they don't get crazy gross, she agreed (part of it might have been because she's new too :D bwahaha, but still it worked out). My appt was at 3pm, I didn't get back to my room until 4:30. Because there were some conversations about my jaw, my previous surgeries. One of the more discouraging things was seemingly she was telling me that my muscles will always be like this, and my natural relaxed state for my jaw will always be crooked (how my bottom jaw drops down to the left. That was depressing. Then she was telling me that the TMJ pain (now called TMD since TMJ stands for Temporomandibular Joint and Muscle) is something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life and that there are alternative ways to treat it...blah blah blah. She went to tell me that I should take 800mg motrin, but I told her I already take that at least once a day, to include my flexiril twice a day...and then she said I would need to see a pain clinic. That... was one of the most frustrating things someone can hear. For me, someone telling me to go to a pain clinic means, "This pain will never go away..." because I had already been to a pain clinic for back issues earlier in my life.

I was frustrated. Helpless. Hopeless. Thinking that a 26yr old would live with this pain for the rest of my life (my frustration was exasperated because my jaw started popping yesterday for whatever reason).

Then I heard this little voice, "Aren't I enough?"

In brokeness I sighed, "no." No God, I want these doctors to make me better. I want these doctors to do something that made the pain go away.

And He reminded me... "Be perfect as I am perfect." Perfection isn't just without sin... it's to be whole.

That's all I wanted. I wanted to be whole. Have a whole mouth of teeth. Have a whole body that works...

But God in me, the Holy Spirit in me...that makes me whole.

So you see... I was reminded yesterday about being fulfilled in Him. And today, reminded about worshiping Him. Not because of me, or anything that has happened, but because of who He is.

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